Close This

By now, you might have figured out that in addition to being (and having) nothing to do, I am also a Cub fan. I have been almost to the mountain top (see: 2003 NLCS, 7th inning), as well as several trips to the valley (same playoffs, 8th inning). I desperately hope that sometime during my trip to this planet (generally thought to be more than 2/3 over) I get to hear the words "The Cubs win the pennant!!!!"



The one thing I am sure of, though, is that if I ever get to hear Pat Hughes make the above exclamation with Ron Santo sitting beside him experiencing simultaneous rapture, orgasm, and heart failure, it will be right after some Cub (any Cub) hits in the winning run in the bottom of the 9th. That way, I won't have to pin my hopes on Kevin Gregg getting the last three outs of the game.



Let me stop right here and say that I'm not picking on this year's Flavor of the Month in the Cubbies bullpen. No, unfortunately Gregg is just the latest in a long line of Cub "closers" who have brought more flames to the greater Chicago land area than Mrs. O'Leary's cow. The same organization who traded, in their primes, Hall-Of-Famers Bruce Sutter and Lee Smith (and sent washed up starter Dennis Eckersley to Oakland so Tony Larussa could make him into a HOF closer) and traded for the likes of Dave Smith and Goose Gossage long after the sun had set on their careers.



The dominating closer has evolved into the most important puzzle piece in the complicated game of baseball. You can have the pitching staff of the 1970 Orioles and the lineup of the 1927 Yankees, but if you don't have the one man who can come in and slam the door with a one run lead and three outs to go, you ain't got squat. For most of the past 25 years, since the Cubs have been generally competitive, their bull pen has hosted more bums than the bus station. I haven't forgotten Rod Beck or Randy Myers, but basically speaking they were one season wonders.



Baseball is never supposed to be easy, and even the greatest teams in history lose once every three games, but in my opinion, Cub fans spend the ninth inning of games in which they have the lead unnecessarily sweaty. Even during seasons in which the Cubs knocked on the World Series door, their closers provided more than their fair share of thrills, such as Mitch Williams in 1989 and Joe Borowski in 2003. I'm ready for a lights out closer. I'm ready for that one guy who, when the Cubs have a lead going into the ninth comes in, I put my feet up and relax. In other words, I'm ready for LaTroy Hawkins.



Just a week ago, the Cubs were cruising with a 4-0 lead after eight innings. Kevin Gregg came on and then left less than five minutes later with the score tied, two men on base, and no outs recorded. By the time Gregg had showered, the Cubs ended up winning in the bottom of the ninth. Just like I like it.







TFGWNTD Top Ten Worst Cub Closers, A.S.*

*After Sutter's trade



1. Dave Smith

2. LaTroy Hawkins

3. Kevin Gregg

4. Goose Gossage

5. Antonio Alfonseca

6. Kyle Farnsworth

7. Bill Caudill

8. *

9. *

10. *



I could finish this list, but to truly honor the men whose names are on it, I thought it would be appropriate to not get the final three spots nailed down.